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Thursday, May 17, 2018

Fear, Doubt, & Darkness

Have you ever had one of those dreams where you wake up in a cold sweat because of the “realness” of it’s content? It may be far from what is true in your life, but in that vulnerable moment of sleep it wrecks your emotions and mind. I didn’t realize until this past semester, while attending a small group on the Holy Spirit, that these dreams are anything but harmless and random. It’s the devil, attacking us when we’re unable to coherently think. He’ll take sucker punches... he has no manners. Last night I had a dream that I found out Josh was cheating on me. I literally woke up in a panic. And then anxiety... fear... doubt... for my REAL life... started to creep in. Had I not had the knowledge and words of my sweet sisters to draw from I’d have not been equipped to identify and rebuke Satan in that moment. I reminded myself of what was true, of Who holds me and my family, and of the good things He wants for us. Y’all, the devil is REAL. It’s not a fun subject, but it’s pertinent to our existence - especially in our current society. He will encroach when we’re vulnerable and incoherent if he can’t make headway when we’re awake and ready. He thrives in darkness, and his roots spread quick if we don’t snatch him out. I’ve really been fighting fear leading up to Carter’s surgery, and it’s taking a daily refocusing to settle my heart. God loves my wild child more than I do. He wants good things for him. No amount of worrying or fearing unknowns is going to change those facts. God has used countless friends, family, and our medical team to encourage me and reinforce the truths: that my kid is a fighter, that he recovers well, and that it will only be a short season of pain for many seasons of relief. 

Thank you, God, for your provision in all things. From small groups, to new friends, to perfectly timed words, to strength and knowledge to fight the devil’s schemes. You are so good. 

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